Life Without Games, Part V
Sep. 25th, 2023 07:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
readoldthingsOver the course of this series, we've examined the transactional analysis model of social psychology created by Eric Berne. We've looked at the Drama Triangle of Stephen Karpman. We've discovered that much of our lives, and above all our relationships-- or what we consider to be relationships-- can be understood as destructive social games. These games play out unconsciously, without our control, all the time, and are responsible for a great deal of the misery that we experience.
Now it's time to talk about what we can do about it.
...And here, it feels necessary to hedge a little bit. The work of un-learning the sorts of behaviors that we're talking about is the work of a lifetime. In a real sense, it is the goal of all real spiritual practice, as it is identical with what Eliphas Levi called the Great Work: "The creation of a man by himself, especially the total conquest of his faculties and his future."
This is a tall order, and precisely how to do it is not going to fit into a short blog post. What I propose to do in this post is to provide a rough
Psychic Anatomy
I'm going to use Plato's tripartite model of the soul in this post. I've discussed this so many times that readers here are probably sick of hearing about it by now. In case anyone is tuning in for the first time, the soul can be divided into three parts:
Epithymia. This consists of all of our instincts and appetites; everything that we share with the lower animals. When you're hungry or tired or "in the mood," that's the Epithymia at work.
Thymos. This consists of the social emotions, including the desire for success and the instinct toward honorable conduct. C
Nous. This is the reasoning part of the soul. The nous itself is further divided into mere sense-knowledge ("I see a three-sided object"); opinion ("All three-sided shapes are triangles"), reason (Given the height of the triangle and the length of its base, its area is x); and intellection (knowledge of higher realities, inexpressible in language.)
Each of these has its proper role, both individually and in relation to one another. The state in which each part of the soul performs its correct function in relation to the other two is the definition of Justice give by Plato in the Republic; a Just man or woman is precisely that person whose soul is properly ordered. In the discussion to follow, I'm going to suggest specific practices aimed at the purification of each of the parts of the soul. Let's take these in order.
The Purification of the Nous
Let us begin with the nous, as it is is the highest part of the soul.
Prayer and Ritual
We will find that we get nowhere without divine aid. This aid must be encountered in two ways: Prayer and Ritual.
By prayer I mean the direct invocation and communication with divine beings. Most of us know what prayer is, and so I don't know that I need to say a great deal about it. One thing that may be helpful to note: Many people from Protestant backgrounds have been raised to believe that prayer must be spontaneous, "from the heart." They make Jesus's condemnation of "vain repetitions" into a condemnation of all repetition, and therefore refuse to engage in formal or liturgical prayer. Often, cradle Protestants carry this attitude with them when they convert to other religions, or to liturgical forms of Christianity.
And then they sit down to pray find that they have no idea what to say.
If that's you-- whether your religious orientation is Christian or otherwise-- let me suggest another approach. Liturgical prayer is a technology; its intention is to invoke the presence of the Divine, in whatever form. Once invoked, the right thing to say is--
Nothing at all.
Remember that the highest part of the soul extends beyond the reasoning mind; it extends, therefore, beyond the sorts of thoughts that can be formed into words.
A simple but very effective form of prayer is to simply light a candle, say or sing a liturgical prayer out loud, and then be silent. Feel the presence of the god or power you have invoked. Don't feel the need to ask them anything; simply be aware of their presence. If you feel nothing, that's okay. Just be silent. Pay attention to whatever thoughts come into your mind. Remain in stillness for a few minutes, and then blow out your candle.
This is where prayer bleeds into the second of the two practices, ritual. Rituals are best when performed with two or more persons, but very often this isn't possible. If you happen to be a part of a large religious organization, then you're in luck, and all you need to do is to attend services regularly, but for many of us, ritual is something that we have to do by ourselves. In either case, though, the purpose of ritual was neatly expressed by Carl Jung as "the externalization of the archetypes of the Collective Unconscious." The archetypes, in Jung's theory, are those universal forces that lurk deep in the background of the human mind, and typically act through us without our knowledge or our consent. (If that sounds familiar, given our recent discussions, stay tuned; I hope to discuss Jung at length sometime in the near future.)
It is important not to treat prayer or ritual as a way of getting God or the gods to do something for you. God is not a genie, or a vending machine. The purpose of prayer is not to change God, to get Him to do what you want-- it's to change you, to make you more like him.
Study and Self-Examination
These work on the next two faculties of the nous, the dianoetic and doxastic powers-- that is, the reason and the opinion.
By Study, in this context, I especially mean studying those sorts of texts which help us to understand and unlock the hidden parts of the soul. Books like Berne's Games People Play, or books discussing Stephen Karpman's work (there are very many available these days) are one option. There are others, depending on the approach you prefer.
Develop the habit of reading slowly, and then setting aside time to carefully reflect upon what you have read. This can be blended into prayer through the practice of lectio divina (divine reading). Lectio divine is a traditional mode of meditation taught in the Roman Catholic Church, but it can be profitably employed by anyone; you can find simple instructions here. Some books, like modern fiction novels, can be read in the way that you watch a movie-- quickly, passively, and for entertainment. These sorts of books will not do the work of purifying your nous or changing your behavior, at least not in a way that you can choose consciously. The sorts of books I recommend here must be studied and considered carefully, and in so doing, they become initiations into higher modes of thinking. In this context I especially recommend Plato's Republic. Please, no abridgements or just extractions of the Allegory of the Cave-- read the entire thing cover to cover.
We must study the works of others in order to gain knowledge of how to work with the soul and a model for how to approach it. Whether you're reading Eric Berne or Plato or smething else, however, what you are reading is a map. One cannot become an explorer, much less a conqueror, by simply studying maps. We must venture into the territory. And the territory, of course, is your own soul, your psyche. Once we have a model of how the psyche works, we need to spend time in self-examination. Read Berne, and carefully go through his "Thesaurus of Games." Do any jump out at you? These are the ones that you're probably playing. Reflect on your own life, and see how the game is playing out, how it's doing its work. Then, learn to watch yourself play. This is the first step to quitting the game. Do the same with Stephen Karpman, Carl Jung, or Plato. If you are a Christian, there are countless books describing the process of "examination of conscience." If you aren't Christian, read them anyway; you still have a concience.
Next Time, On Life Without Games
Now it's time to talk about what we can do about it.
...And here, it feels necessary to hedge a little bit. The work of un-learning the sorts of behaviors that we're talking about is the work of a lifetime. In a real sense, it is the goal of all real spiritual practice, as it is identical with what Eliphas Levi called the Great Work: "The creation of a man by himself, especially the total conquest of his faculties and his future."
This is a tall order, and precisely how to do it is not going to fit into a short blog post. What I propose to do in this post is to provide a rough
Psychic Anatomy
I'm going to use Plato's tripartite model of the soul in this post. I've discussed this so many times that readers here are probably sick of hearing about it by now. In case anyone is tuning in for the first time, the soul can be divided into three parts:
Epithymia. This consists of all of our instincts and appetites; everything that we share with the lower animals. When you're hungry or tired or "in the mood," that's the Epithymia at work.
Thymos. This consists of the social emotions, including the desire for success and the instinct toward honorable conduct. C
Nous. This is the reasoning part of the soul. The nous itself is further divided into mere sense-knowledge ("I see a three-sided object"); opinion ("All three-sided shapes are triangles"), reason (Given the height of the triangle and the length of its base, its area is x); and intellection (knowledge of higher realities, inexpressible in language.)
Each of these has its proper role, both individually and in relation to one another. The state in which each part of the soul performs its correct function in relation to the other two is the definition of Justice give by Plato in the Republic; a Just man or woman is precisely that person whose soul is properly ordered. In the discussion to follow, I'm going to suggest specific practices aimed at the purification of each of the parts of the soul. Let's take these in order.
Let us begin with the nous, as it is is the highest part of the soul.
Prayer and Ritual
We will find that we get nowhere without divine aid. This aid must be encountered in two ways: Prayer and Ritual.
By prayer I mean the direct invocation and communication with divine beings. Most of us know what prayer is, and so I don't know that I need to say a great deal about it. One thing that may be helpful to note: Many people from Protestant backgrounds have been raised to believe that prayer must be spontaneous, "from the heart." They make Jesus's condemnation of "vain repetitions" into a condemnation of all repetition, and therefore refuse to engage in formal or liturgical prayer. Often, cradle Protestants carry this attitude with them when they convert to other religions, or to liturgical forms of Christianity.
And then they sit down to pray find that they have no idea what to say.
If that's you-- whether your religious orientation is Christian or otherwise-- let me suggest another approach. Liturgical prayer is a technology; its intention is to invoke the presence of the Divine, in whatever form. Once invoked, the right thing to say is--
Nothing at all.
Remember that the highest part of the soul extends beyond the reasoning mind; it extends, therefore, beyond the sorts of thoughts that can be formed into words.
A simple but very effective form of prayer is to simply light a candle, say or sing a liturgical prayer out loud, and then be silent. Feel the presence of the god or power you have invoked. Don't feel the need to ask them anything; simply be aware of their presence. If you feel nothing, that's okay. Just be silent. Pay attention to whatever thoughts come into your mind. Remain in stillness for a few minutes, and then blow out your candle.
This is where prayer bleeds into the second of the two practices, ritual. Rituals are best when performed with two or more persons, but very often this isn't possible. If you happen to be a part of a large religious organization, then you're in luck, and all you need to do is to attend services regularly, but for many of us, ritual is something that we have to do by ourselves. In either case, though, the purpose of ritual was neatly expressed by Carl Jung as "the externalization of the archetypes of the Collective Unconscious." The archetypes, in Jung's theory, are those universal forces that lurk deep in the background of the human mind, and typically act through us without our knowledge or our consent. (If that sounds familiar, given our recent discussions, stay tuned; I hope to discuss Jung at length sometime in the near future.)
It is important not to treat prayer or ritual as a way of getting God or the gods to do something for you. God is not a genie, or a vending machine. The purpose of prayer is not to change God, to get Him to do what you want-- it's to change you, to make you more like him.
Study and Self-Examination
These work on the next two faculties of the nous, the dianoetic and doxastic powers-- that is, the reason and the opinion.
By Study, in this context, I especially mean studying those sorts of texts which help us to understand and unlock the hidden parts of the soul. Books like Berne's Games People Play, or books discussing Stephen Karpman's work (there are very many available these days) are one option. There are others, depending on the approach you prefer.
Develop the habit of reading slowly, and then setting aside time to carefully reflect upon what you have read. This can be blended into prayer through the practice of lectio divina (divine reading). Lectio divine is a traditional mode of meditation taught in the Roman Catholic Church, but it can be profitably employed by anyone; you can find simple instructions here. Some books, like modern fiction novels, can be read in the way that you watch a movie-- quickly, passively, and for entertainment. These sorts of books will not do the work of purifying your nous or changing your behavior, at least not in a way that you can choose consciously. The sorts of books I recommend here must be studied and considered carefully, and in so doing, they become initiations into higher modes of thinking. In this context I especially recommend Plato's Republic. Please, no abridgements or just extractions of the Allegory of the Cave-- read the entire thing cover to cover.
We must study the works of others in order to gain knowledge of how to work with the soul and a model for how to approach it. Whether you're reading Eric Berne or Plato or smething else, however, what you are reading is a map. One cannot become an explorer, much less a conqueror, by simply studying maps. We must venture into the territory. And the territory, of course, is your own soul, your psyche. Once we have a model of how the psyche works, we need to spend time in self-examination. Read Berne, and carefully go through his "Thesaurus of Games." Do any jump out at you? These are the ones that you're probably playing. Reflect on your own life, and see how the game is playing out, how it's doing its work. Then, learn to watch yourself play. This is the first step to quitting the game. Do the same with Stephen Karpman, Carl Jung, or Plato. If you are a Christian, there are countless books describing the process of "examination of conscience." If you aren't Christian, read them anyway; you still have a concience.
Next Time, On Life Without Games
The nous is the highest part of the soul, but it does not function in isolation. Alone, against the world of the animal instincts, it fails. It needs the aid of the thymos, and ultimately the appetites must be brought under its power. How do we do this? We'll discuss that tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2023-09-25 04:33 pm (UTC)You might enjoy this discussion with Fr. John Bethancourt-- there's audio but also a transcript.
https://www.ancientfaith.com/specials/orthodox_anthropology/the_transformation_of_the_inner_man
no subject
Date: 2023-09-25 09:16 pm (UTC)These concepts were part of Western theology at one time, but that went away as Aristotle's psychology was increasingly preferred to Plato's, and then materialism to either...
no subject
Date: 2023-09-25 09:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-09-25 05:54 pm (UTC)