Living in a small house, with small children, makes finding the time and space for meditation... tricky.
But a funny thing happened. I developed periodic insomnia. And this has solved the problem, when I can muster the self-discipline to use it. A classic example of "whatever God gives you, say thank-you".
So it turns out that if, after the kids are all asleep, I tiptoe in to our icon corner and tell my beads in the dark... it is just as good as sleeping. Like, I have spent nights tossing and turning and not-sleeping until I finally passed out at 5am and slept two hours, and felt like garbage in the morning. And I have also spent those hours praying the Jesus prayer and then passing out at 5am and sleeping for two hours... and felt fine the following day. Just as though I had slept the whole night.
I have not seen the Uncreated Light. I live far too much in the world, and am far too lazy and haphazard in my practice, and definitely not humble enough... and even if I weren't, I'm not entitled of course ;) But, even if a vision of the Uncreated Light is the ultimate goal, it's not like nothing else happens on the way. It's worth the effort.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-09-28 04:31 pm (UTC)But a funny thing happened. I developed periodic insomnia. And this has solved the problem, when I can muster the self-discipline to use it. A classic example of "whatever God gives you, say thank-you".
So it turns out that if, after the kids are all asleep, I tiptoe in to our icon corner and tell my beads in the dark... it is just as good as sleeping. Like, I have spent nights tossing and turning and not-sleeping until I finally passed out at 5am and slept two hours, and felt like garbage in the morning. And I have also spent those hours praying the Jesus prayer and then passing out at 5am and sleeping for two hours... and felt fine the following day. Just as though I had slept the whole night.
I have not seen the Uncreated Light. I live far too much in the world, and am far too lazy and haphazard in my practice, and definitely not humble enough... and even if I weren't, I'm not entitled of course ;) But, even if a vision of the Uncreated Light is the ultimate goal, it's not like nothing else happens on the way. It's worth the effort.