Daily Reflection 3.23.21

Sun Tzu tells us that,

We cannot enter alliances until we are acquainted with the designs of our neighbors.

In the spiritual life, this can have a number of meanings.

The most obvious is the joining of spiritual organizations. These include formal religious organizations like churches, temples, and Buddhist sanghas and alternative groups like occult lodges and magical orders. But it can also include martial arts organizations, music groups or bands, and even knitting circles.

Any such organization can potentially help us in our development by teaching us things that we didn't previously know and helping us to connect with others who are on the same path. But organizations can very easily go toxic, and that's especially true in the current age of universal psychic toxicity. It's apparently the case that women's knitting circles in recent years became infected with Social Justice ideology, so that groups ostensibly dedicated to knitting sweaters became instead dedicated to left-wing indoctrination. If it can happen in a group as innocuous as a knitting circle, it can happen anywhere. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, traditionalist Roman Catholic groups are notorious for descending into what's called "Toxic Traddism." As the link here describes it, Toxic Traddism is

manifest in arrogance, busy-bodying, LARPing, finger-pointing, paranoia, gossip, over-protection of children, spousal abuse, mistaking "modern" for "modernist," prudery, raising of personal opinions to the level of dogma, hyper-vigilance against perceived evils and "enemies," making the perfect the enemy of the good, cancel-culturing, lack of humor, lack of empathy and charity for certain types of sinners (you know, the ones whose sins are different from yours), baseless conspiracy-mongering (which is not to say that some conspiracies are true), and other such unpleasant behaviors.

Whether the focus of your life is knitting, prayer, or both, the Great Work can be very lonely, and it's natural to want to connect with others who are on the path. But how do you avoid toxic groups, and how do you dissever yourself from a group gone toxic?

The answer is not to be dependent on a group in the first place. Learn to pray, do magic, play music, knit sweaters, bake bread, and everything else all on your own. Yes, some activities are dependent on others-- you can't learn martial arts on your own. But you can do a great deal of training by yourself, through forms, visualizations and heavy bag workouts, and only get together with others on your own terms. Once you have established yourself in your practice, then you can go looking for a group to join or people to partner with.

But how do you tell the good groups from the bad?

As Sun Tzu says, we can't enter into alliances until we are acquainted with the designs of our neighbors. And how do you discover those?

For any given group of people, the test to apply is this: Do I want what they have? The more time you spend around any person, and especially any group of people, the more like them you will become. Before you commit to a group, spend some time getting to know the people involved. If they seem to be emotionally balanced, pleasant to be around, as well as knowledgeable in your particular field of study, stick with them. If it feels weird to be in the same room as them, or if the group is periodically disrupted by over-the-top drama, internal politics, gossip or witch-hunting-- stay away. Even if they have knowledge and skills that you want. You're better off continuing to work on your own until you can find another group that won't subject you to emotional chaos.

At the end of the day, the only ally you need is the God that dwells within you.