Daily Advice 12.28.2020

[readoldthings]

 More from Seneca On Anger:

Anger, therefore, is not expedient even in battle or in war; for it is prone to rashness, and while it seeks to bring about danger, does not guard against it. The truest form of wisdom is to make a wide and long inspection, to put self in subjection, and then to move forward slowly and in a set direction.

When I see people-- or  myself-- fly off the handle during (say) a confrontation over politics on social media, I wonder, what is the point? I don't mean that in a rhetorical way. I mean, literally-- when you become angry and shout at someone on the internet or elsewhere, what were you actually trying to accomplish? And did you manage to do so?

By way of illustrating the point, let me tell an embarrassing story. 

Upon a time, my cell phone was not turning on and I thought it was broken, so I went to the Verizon store. I was very quickly cornered by a sales guy who used a series of psychological tactics to get me to spend a bunch of money on a new phone. I would not be surprised if the guy had learned some kind of hypnosis or neurolinguistic programming. He got under my skin immediately, put me in an awkward and insecure position, and then got me to spend a bunch of money. I left feeling dazed and, if I may be honest, rather emasculated, like I'd lost a boxing match. Except worse, because I have lost boxing matches, and afterward felt like I'd kept my dignity and given a good accounting of myself. Now I just felt like a fool. 

Over the next two days, two things happened. First, I quickly discovered-- not at all to my surprise-- that my old phone worked just fine. Second, I broke the new phone by dropping it on the floor.

At that point I was furious, and decided that the state of fury was a perfectly fine time to go back to the Verizon store and demand my money back. 

The result?

I was kicked out of the store within 2 minutes, nor did I at any time get one penny back of the money I spent on the new phone. 

Sometimes we have to fight. When that happens, neither anger nor any of the other passions are any kind of aid.