Sorry I've taken so long to reply to this. I'm so glad to hear the book has been helpful! I almost certainly need to revisit it, especially now that I have kids and they're getting old enough to have stuff that they spread EVERYWHERE.
On the streaky dishes thing, one of the best pieces of parenting advice I ever got came from an NPR article a friend shared with me, of all places. The author traveled around the world and saw that in most cultures, kids cheerfully help out with all kinds of chores, whereas in America, they're mostly sullen and have to be forced into doing anything. When she looked at what was different, she saw that kids develop a natural desire to help do things as they start being able to walk and talk and such, but the trouble is, they're very bad at just about everything. So busy American parents say "no, let me do that" or "here, you're taking too long, gimme that." Well, if every time you offer to help you get shut down, eventually you stop offering to help. So, my wife and I have tried to cultivate (with mixed success, of course) a habit of always responding to "I want to help!" with something, just to reinforce that asking to help is good and welcome.
My heart also hurts for books turned into truck-roads. I suppose whether to move them or not might have something to do with how rough he is with them and how much he helps put them away after he gets them down - if he puts away most of what he got down, and he didn't really hurt any of the books in the process, then maybe no harm, no foul. On the other hand, if he's wrecking books or refusing to help put them away, maybe removing the temptation is the better way to go.
Hahah, I think occasional strategic teasing is likely an important part of getting older and learning that you are not, in fact, the center of the world. Also, the lesson that if you act like a small child, you get treated like a small child might be a valuable one too.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-09-25 06:02 pm (UTC)On the streaky dishes thing, one of the best pieces of parenting advice I ever got came from an NPR article a friend shared with me, of all places. The author traveled around the world and saw that in most cultures, kids cheerfully help out with all kinds of chores, whereas in America, they're mostly sullen and have to be forced into doing anything. When she looked at what was different, she saw that kids develop a natural desire to help do things as they start being able to walk and talk and such, but the trouble is, they're very bad at just about everything. So busy American parents say "no, let me do that" or "here, you're taking too long, gimme that." Well, if every time you offer to help you get shut down, eventually you stop offering to help. So, my wife and I have tried to cultivate (with mixed success, of course) a habit of always responding to "I want to help!" with something, just to reinforce that asking to help is good and welcome.
My heart also hurts for books turned into truck-roads. I suppose whether to move them or not might have something to do with how rough he is with them and how much he helps put them away after he gets them down - if he puts away most of what he got down, and he didn't really hurt any of the books in the process, then maybe no harm, no foul. On the other hand, if he's wrecking books or refusing to help put them away, maybe removing the temptation is the better way to go.
Hahah, I think occasional strategic teasing is likely an important part of getting older and learning that you are not, in fact, the center of the world. Also, the lesson that if you act like a small child, you get treated like a small child might be a valuable one too.