readoldthings (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
readoldthings) wrote2021-05-24 07:58 am
readoldthings) wrote2021-05-24 07:58 am
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Daily Reflection 5.24.21
The last of the Nine Situations are:
How do we deal with these situations?
All of these represent difficult situations that we find ourselves in. Places, times, and situations that have historically been triggers for our addictions or traumas; people we can't stand being around but can't get away from; energetic environments that are toxic or harmful or even demonic.
One thing needs to be said before we proceed, though. A few years back, it became very popular on the internet to place "Trigger Warnings" all over everything. The theory was that the world was full of traumatized people, and the only way to help them overcome their ptsd symptoms was to constantly remind them of those symptoms via "trigger warnings." Moreover, if you didn't put "Trigger Warnings" everywhere, you could count on being on the receiving end of a torrent of abuse from the supposedly-traumatized and their enablers.
Needless to say, this was all a pile of bullshit. First, because what traumatized people need to do is to learn to cope with the everyday world again, not to live in a constant state of trigger-avoidance. Second, because even if you've been traumatized, it's not everyone else's job to heal you. That's your own responsibility, and you'll learn a hell of a lot more from suffering and overcoming than you will from wallowing in victimhood and demanding everyone else accommodate you. That's the ideology of the social justice movement-- that any experience of victimhood automatically grants to the victim innocence, moral goodness, and, above all else, power over others. That's not true, never has been, and never will be.
I say all of that because I want to continue to talk about the experiences of trauma, addiction, and so on on this blog-- experiences that I've had, and that I continue to deal with-- without falling into the bad habits common to our unusually stupid era.
Sun Tzu tells us: On difficult ground, keep on the march; on hemmed in ground, resort to strategem; on desperate ground, fight.
And this is because, in life as in war, we cannot always have it easy. If you are recovering from addiction, you'll eventually find yourself in situations that trigger your desire for-- drink, drugs, porn, gambling, whatever it is. The best way to to deal with these things is to get away from them as quickly as you can-- leave the bar or the party, close your computer, get away from the casino. Sometimes, it isn't that easy. You might find yourself at a family function that can't be avoided which involves a great deal of drinking; you might have to be alone with your computer for hours for a work project. At those times, you need to resort to strategem-- or, as it's called in the mental health profession, coping strategies.
Sometimes, you find yourself in a situation from which there is no escape. On those occasions, there is nothing left but to fight with everything you have. As the later commentator Chia Lin remarks,
Mountain forests, rugged steeps, marshes and fens -- all country that is hard to traverse: this is difficult ground.
Ground which is reached through narrow gorges, and from which we can only retire by tortuous paths, so that a small number of the enemy would suffice to crush a large body of our men: this is hemmed-in ground.
Ground on which we can only be saved from destruction by fighting without delay, is desperate ground.
Ground which is reached through narrow gorges, and from which we can only retire by tortuous paths, so that a small number of the enemy would suffice to crush a large body of our men: this is hemmed-in ground.
Ground on which we can only be saved from destruction by fighting without delay, is desperate ground.
How do we deal with these situations?
In difficult ground, keep steadily on the march. On hemmed-in ground, resort to stratagem. On desperate ground, fight.
All of these represent difficult situations that we find ourselves in. Places, times, and situations that have historically been triggers for our addictions or traumas; people we can't stand being around but can't get away from; energetic environments that are toxic or harmful or even demonic.
One thing needs to be said before we proceed, though. A few years back, it became very popular on the internet to place "Trigger Warnings" all over everything. The theory was that the world was full of traumatized people, and the only way to help them overcome their ptsd symptoms was to constantly remind them of those symptoms via "trigger warnings." Moreover, if you didn't put "Trigger Warnings" everywhere, you could count on being on the receiving end of a torrent of abuse from the supposedly-traumatized and their enablers.
Needless to say, this was all a pile of bullshit. First, because what traumatized people need to do is to learn to cope with the everyday world again, not to live in a constant state of trigger-avoidance. Second, because even if you've been traumatized, it's not everyone else's job to heal you. That's your own responsibility, and you'll learn a hell of a lot more from suffering and overcoming than you will from wallowing in victimhood and demanding everyone else accommodate you. That's the ideology of the social justice movement-- that any experience of victimhood automatically grants to the victim innocence, moral goodness, and, above all else, power over others. That's not true, never has been, and never will be.
I say all of that because I want to continue to talk about the experiences of trauma, addiction, and so on on this blog-- experiences that I've had, and that I continue to deal with-- without falling into the bad habits common to our unusually stupid era.
Sun Tzu tells us: On difficult ground, keep on the march; on hemmed in ground, resort to strategem; on desperate ground, fight.
And this is because, in life as in war, we cannot always have it easy. If you are recovering from addiction, you'll eventually find yourself in situations that trigger your desire for-- drink, drugs, porn, gambling, whatever it is. The best way to to deal with these things is to get away from them as quickly as you can-- leave the bar or the party, close your computer, get away from the casino. Sometimes, it isn't that easy. You might find yourself at a family function that can't be avoided which involves a great deal of drinking; you might have to be alone with your computer for hours for a work project. At those times, you need to resort to strategem-- or, as it's called in the mental health profession, coping strategies.
Sometimes, you find yourself in a situation from which there is no escape. On those occasions, there is nothing left but to fight with everything you have. As the later commentator Chia Lin remarks,
If you fight with all your might, there is a chance of life; whereas death is certain if you cling to your corner.